While the past two days since the inauguration have provided endless entertainment watching the social justice warriors meltdown, I began to wonder how everyone else deals with these special snowflakes when they come face to face with them in real life. Can everyone spot a snowflake at a hundred yards to avoid being inundated with their insane liberal logic? What happens if you find yourself trapped next to one in an elevator? While this guide will help with the identification of the snowflakes, I will not endorse my recommendations for dealing with them. Generally while they will have a high entertainment value they will certainly make the situation worse.

  1. You have found yourself trapped in a conversation with a person that is seriously discussing the evils of microagressions. – If you simply tell them that microagressions is a made up term to allow them to believe that everyone at their core is racist/sexist and every time that they feel slighted they can attribute it to this fake unconscious racism/sexism instead of the fact that in most likelihood they are an insufferable prick, they will immediately have what they call a macroaggression and accuse you of said racism/sexism without any supporting evidence.
  2. When the latest tragedy/scandal/terrorist attack occurs they begin flooding your social media pages with their carefully worded hashtags. Generally these are of the PrayFor… or StandWith… variety. Of course is said tragedy/scandal/terrorist attack is the result of liberal policies you should be careful when engaging with logic and reason to point this out. Generally the reaction with be for the SJW to call you a racist, sexist or homophobe and immediately block your digital presence across all social media platforms.
  3. A woman is womansplaining mansplaining to you. Now if you point out the irony of what is occurring the conversation is going to end with said woman calling you a sexist. They may also throw in racist and homophobe just to be safe. A safer route would be to anonymously send said SJW a copy of “You Just Don’t Understand” by Debra Tannen. I doubt it will do much good, but if one woman is convinced that I speak to everyone exactly the same way regardless of gender or sex then maybe it will do some good in the world.
  1. Someone insists that there are more than 16 personal pronouns. This is an affront to both Science and the English language. I would recommend reciting the following list; I, me, we, us, you, she, her, him, it, they or them and remind them that situationally “it” is used twice and “you” four times, then gladly volunteer to use it in place of his or her for their personal pronoun if they would like.
  2. In any type of discussion they only reference the following sources; BuzzFeed, Huffington Post, Slate, Vox or Salon. For these particular individuals I prefer to counter with Breitbart sources. This tactic seems to be especially triggering and will end with you being called a white nationalist or anti-Semite.
  3. Someone tells you they are in the process of obtaining or have received a degree where their focus was Gender or Ethnic studies. I always steer the conversation around to future/current job prospects. Generally they will lament the lack of opportunities in their chosen field of study, but I being ever so understanding will offer to get them in touch with my friend who is a manager at McDonalds.
  4. They tell you there is a difference between a Democratic Socialist and a Socialist. The weed smoking basement dweller is never going to believe you that just because you voted for the person taking your money and giving it to someone else it is exactly the same thing. You can further point to the variety of examples around the world that are in varying stages of collapse, but they will remain steadfast in their belief that those countries are not implementing it correctly. There is no immediate intervention for this person and often offering to purchase them a ticket to said socialist paradise will result in a triggering event that will only be solved by additional weed smoking.
  5. They are carrying extra materials for making protest signs in their car so they can protest social injustice in a moments notice. While most people ensure that they have essential items like jumper cables, road flares, emergency tools and a couple bottles. These individuals see themselves as the “Dark Knight” of the protest world, but you can have hours of entertainment by simply letting the air out of their tires.
  6. They were upset, even a little bit, when Castro died. Parade out every atrocity that Castro committed until they back off their ridiculous statement.
  7. They like and share lecturing celebrity montage videos. One of the few reasons I actually block people from my news feed. Usually these are the same people who will endlessly share cat videos so it is no big loss.
  8. They firmly declare that Donald Trump is not their President. I prefer to play Hillary Clinton screeching about not accepting the results of the election not being American in a loop. If the facts don’t break them her shrill voice will. Yes Snowflake, he is and will be your President for at least the next four years.
  1. Their defacto comparison is Hitler. Reminding them that their intended target is actually nothing like Hitler and to see something that rises to the level of Hitler occurring right now we only need to look to what ISIS is currently doing.
  2. They make an argument in favor of changing the Electoral College to the popular vote. Generally pointing out why our founding fathers purposely avoided a direct democracy because of the evil that can be wrought will do little good, so I tell them that I will sign their stupid petition once they experiment with the popular vote for Democratic nominees by eliminating their primaries and Democratic Super Delegates.
  1. They attempt to convince you of the benefits of societies based wholly on Anarchy. In my mind I punch them right in the nose and then in my best Ali stance point at them and say, “How do you like anarchy Beetich”. Of course I never like to engage in violence unless absolutely necessary so I simply walk away. This is a person that no amount of logic can overcome.
  1. They are more upset about the supposed Russian interference in the election than the actual rigging of the Democratic primary by the DNC and Hillary Clinton. I never like to be in a position to defend Bernie, but he got screwed and spewing out the facts seem to trigger the snowflake so it is worth it.
  2. They have been triggered so hard that they need a safe space and coloring book. Put on some Enya, have them breath into a paper bag and when they calm down, tell them to grow the fuck up.

Posted by redstateronin

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